Entire county shuts down amid hype-man's house arrest

Pictured: Dave Heck | Credit: The Legendary Sam Pinola
Ravaged grocery store shelves, citizens panicking, canceled music tours and forced school and public gym closures. This is just the tip of the iceberg of ongoing county wide hysteria stemming from the news of Lansdale's hype-man being sentenced to a mandatory house arrest. Dave Heck, AKA, "The Mayor of Lansdale" AKA "Brad Parson's Dad" recently revealed that he would be on house arrest for a while and that "it is definitely not dope." As a result of this news, Montgomery County, Pennsylvania went into a forced shut down as ordered by Gov. Tom Wolf. The Lansdale scene will be missing their hypest of hype men for a while. In the mean time, be sure to send copious amounts of diet iced tea and falafel to keep Dave and his beard company for a while.

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