Local brewery bro releases new beer and we can’t unsee the marketing photo

 

LANSDALE, PA> So this came across the Ogee Times desk tonight. As we were trolling, I mean, professionally scouring the internet tonight for the latest puns, double entendres and local fan boys, we stumbled across the latest release from Well Crafted Beer Company called “Short Schwarz.” 

 At first, we didn’t even know what the hell beer they released, we just couldn’t get this marketing image out of our brains! What are we supposed to do with this information now, we’ve seen too much! Pictured in the left of the photo is Well Crafted owner, Doug Bellenger. You may remember Doug from a previous breaking news article where he finally lifted his delicate, moisturized hands and moved a piece of equipment from one place to the other. 

Approaching press time, after we wiped the tears from our eyes and took a shot of whiskey, we uncovered some information about a contest surrounding their new beer! See below for details, per Well Crafted Beer Company’s Facebook page:

Show us your short shorts! Take a pict with our newest beer release - Short Schwarz - and post it on Facebook and Instagram. You could win a $25 gift card. Winner will be picked at random over the next couple of weeks and can't wait to see what you got!

Short Schwarz - Schwarzbier - 5.0%

An autumnal crusher, this sessionable dark Lager was brewed with the finest Pilsner and Munich malts alongside a blend of roasted malts to give a depth of flavor while maintaining drinkability. Hopped gently with noble Saaz, this beer will leave you pining for the dog days of summer wearing your favorite shorts; short ones of course.