Teacher disappears from Zoom session; anarchy ensues in multiple homes
by Ryan Weiss
SOMEHWERE, PA> In the latest developments from the home front, parental units across the area experienced a huge rift in the matrix today when a teacher disappeared from a scheduled Zoom session. A recap of the incident, as quoted from Laura K of the famed area band Bitchfork, goes as such:
"The teacher has dropped out of their class meeting, probably as the result of a technical issue. TOTAL ANARCHY has ensued. Someone said the F-word. One kid has announced a dance party. Another theorizes that the school has exploded. They are currently holding an independent Lego show and tell."
At press time, we were listing to Bitchfork's song "When It Falls Apart," as it seemed apt for the moment, while trying to get our lives back on track during the pandemic. Also, announcing random dance parties is a thing now, so get on that.