The 2020 Presidential election is stealing all of our headlines

 MERICA, MERICA> Just when we thought the world couldn't get any worse, the fake news starts stealing Ogee Times headlines! "Trump supporters storm voting headquarters with pitchforks and citronella candles," "Voting polls give out sharpie pens," "Ballots appear from ballot boxes that vote for candidates," and "ANTIFA boss picks a fight with Rambo" are just some examples of the headlines that have been ripped from our grasp. We are trying to make it through this election with at least ONE damn pun or double entendre, for SEO purposes. Gone are the days of Ogee Times "Breaking News: Blah blah blah, thinks blah blah is blah. (insert Jason Ray here)" We can't wait for this election to be over so we can at least try to jump on "Recount begins because Nevada wouldn't answer a 2 am booty call text. #wyd"