This banana just tried to sell me beard oil
LANSDALE, PA> This morning, we received a hot tip from local falafel shaman Dave Heck, about a banana that has wandered into town attempting to pitch beard oil to the unsuspecting public. From Dave, "This banana tried to sell me beard oil, yo." We believe this banana is going for the "Gene Shalit" look in an attempt to disarm public reservation about a second beard oil salesperson in town. We reached out to Ryan Weiss, the owner of the Hatfield, PA based beard care business, Corkscrew Beard Company, for comment:
"Look, I get that beards are so hot right now, literally and figuratively, but look, we can't have random bananas thinking they can waltz into town and start under cutting customers with promises of Gene Shalit mustache thickness and Dave Heck beard volume. It's simply unattainable."
At press time, we slipped on banana peel at the corner of West Main and Wood Streets in a very Looney Tunes fashion.